Las Vegas - Places and Poker - High Stakes

Las Vegas

If you're any kind of poker player at all, your journeys will eventually take you to Las Vegas, Sin City, the Mecca of poker. To help make your visit unforgettable, here's your seven-nights-a-week guide to Las Vegas. If you can survive this, baby, you can take anything.

SUNDAY

Light, Bellagio.

Light is one of the top clubs in the city any night of the week, but on Sundays they just seem to take it to a whole other level. I don't know, maybe it's all the out-of-towners grabbing for that last-gasp party before Monday comes and they have to turtle aboard their planes back to Wisconsin or wherever. One thing's for sure, if you're a beautiful baby, you can go years at Light without having to buy your own drink. Insider tip: Dress to impress -- and then sell it hard -- 'cause the bouncers here will look for any excuse to turn you away. Can't blame them. Sunday night or any night, Light is the place to be in Las Vegas.

MONDAY

The House of Blue Foundation Room, Mandalay Bay.

This is usually a place of restricted entry (insanely high rollers only need apply) but late on Monday nights, they kick it open to all. Don't miss it! From 43 floors up, with the Strip and all of Las Vegas spread out below you, the view will blow you away. Stand outside on the balcony and you'll feel like the planes at nearby McCarran Airport are taking off right in your face. Note: Mind your manners, kids; Robert Groesbeck, the former mayor of Henderson, Nevada, was once arrested here after allegedly fondling a woman, fighting with police, and -- though this may or may not have been a crime -- clucking like a chicken. Good times.

TUESDAY

Tabú MGM Grand.

For a club with an up-itself name like Tabú (get the gratuitous accent stress), this is actually a very nice, very habitable club. Everything and everyone is easy on the eyes, including the staff, who, odds on, were all hired for looks on top of competence. The way to go here is VIP. You can book private booths or tables, including an entre nous hideaway called the Tantra Room, which has its own private bar made -- get this -- entirely out of ice. Even if you don't want to go the private room route (to the tune of dozens of Franklins, minimum), you'll definitely want to beat the line with a VIP line pass: a bargain at forty bucks a throw. Think that's no bargain? Hey, life's too short to stand in lines.

WEDNESDAY

Caramel, Bellagio.

Cruise through Humpday with a quiet, stress-free evening at Bellagio's low-voltage hot spot, Caramel. While the crowds are swarming around the Light, you'll be kicking it with an Oreo shake martini or that strange thing they do with caviar and vodka. The room is small and intimate, and manages to swing both ways -- trendy, yet cozy -- at the same time. It's the perfect place to kick off a night out or seal the deal with that certain someone before retiring to your room.

THURSDAY

Drai's, Barbary Coast.

The best-kept secret -- and coolest basement hangout -- in all of Las Vegas, Drai's is the only place to be for after-hours carousement on Thursday night or any night of the week. The place doesn't even open till after midnight (after the last of the excellent French cuisine has been served) but on the other hand the crowd stays thick till well past dawn. When you think of hip pockets of Ls Vegas, the ancient (by Vegas standards) Barbary Coast is not a place that springs readily to mind, but trust me, if you don't know Drai's, you don't know Vegas at all.

FRIDAY

Body English, Hard Rock Hotel.

Looking for that Eurotrash girl of your dreams? Then head on down to Body English, located underneath the Joint at Hard Rock. Tricked out in plush leathers (like some of the clientele) Body English features some of the best jams in town -- about what you'd expect from the Hard Rock. Grab a booth overlooking the dance floor and watch the action go down. Better yet, snag the ultra-VIP room with one-way windows, soundproofing, and its own music system and bar. That's living large in a wonderland inside a wonderland inside a wonderland.

SATURDAY

Ghost Bar, the Palms.

Saturday in Vegas. Ghost Bar, high atop the Palms Hotel. The neon night arrayed like a jewel below. Gorgeous eye candy everywhere. Classy DJ keeps the beats going strong. Does life get any better than this? I seriously don't think so. The people watching and celebrity sighting are second to none here, and after a night at Ghost Bar, you'll know you've done Las Vegas the way it was meant to be done. Acrophobic? The Palms' other night club, Rain, down on the main casino floor, is a reasonable second choice, but really, for just the view alone, the Ghost Bar is not to be missed, so swallow your fear of heights and head on up.

And now, just because of the generous guy I am, here are six bonus features for loving Las Vegas:

BONUS FEATURE #1: NUMBER ONE HOTEL IN LAS VEGAS

The list of top hotels begins and ends with Bellagio. If you're not here, you're nowhere.

BONUS FEATURE #2: TOP TWO DAY TRIPS

When you need a break from the night life (yes, it can happen), here are two great places to get away to: Red Rock Canyon. Less than half an hour's drive from Las Vegas, with sublime hiking and deep tranquility.

Valley of Fire. Get your desert fix by driving just an hour north of town. Check out ancient Indian petroglyphs and more cacti than you can shake a cactus at.

BONUS FEATURE #3: TOP THREE STRIP CLUBS IN LAS VEGAS

Hey, nobody says you have to hit the strip clubs, but if you do, the ones to check out in Vegas are:

• Sapphire's
• Crazy Horse Too
• Olympic Gardens

And don't think that strip clubs are boys' clubs only. Some of the best times I've had at strip clubs have been with lots of beautiful babies in tow. Something about seeing other hot women taking off their clothes seems to trigger some competitive urge. What can I say? Competition is a beautiful thing.

BONUS FEATURE #4: FOUR FINE RESTAURANTS IN LAS VEGAS

Man does not live by bread alone, and only a fool would inflict buffets on himself when there are so many stunning restaurants in town. My favorite four:

• Fix at Bellagio -- American grill
• Shintaro at Bellagio -- Japanese cuisine
• Piero's on Convention Center Drive -- old school Italian
• Nine at Palms -- steak house and more

BONUS FEATURE #5: FIVE CLASSIC SONGS ABOUT LAS VEGA

• Viva Las Vegas/Elvis Presley
• Leaving Las Vegas/Sheryl Crow
• Sin City/Graham Parsons
• Ooh Las Vegas/Emmylou Harris
• Queen of Las Vegas/B-52s

BONUS FEATURE #6: TOP SIX FILMS ABOUT LAS VEGAS

• Casino -- Joe Pesci goes postal
• Ocean's 11 -- the original, NOT the remake
• Viva Las Vegas -- a movie as good as the song
• Honeymoon in Vegas -- for the flying Elvi, if nothing else
• Corvette Summer -- hard to find, but worth it
• Showgirls -- trash, but inspired trash